The Seventh Dragonball
by ErieDragon
Summary: Majin Buu didn't destroy everyone. One lone survivor struggles, with one old red truck named Betty and the help of some wits, she may accomplish more than the Z fighters ever could.
1. Visitors

THE SEVENTH DRAGONBALL

I. Visitors

"The last ball.. the seven star dragonball. According to the dragon radar, it's right inside this house," Bulma notified her three tagalongs. Goku nodded, taking out his power pole just in case. Yamcha stood off to one side, blushing immensely and digging his toe into the ground whenever Bulma looked at him. Oolong fumbled with his army hat.

Bulma approached the front door, slowly turning the knob. It opened with ease, allowing the blue haired girl and her younger friend Goku into the small pueblo house.

The dragon radar bleeped louder, the directional triangle directly on top of the location of the last dragonball. Bulma glanced around, spotting the magical orange object lying in a shrine-like structure on a desk. 

Goku hopped across the dark, well-furnished room, until a voice paused his hand from snatching the seven-starred ball.

"Who are you guys?" a small voice asked, two eyes peering at them from the corner of the room. Jumping back in shock, Goku nervously wrung his hands and looked to Bulma to explain.

"Um, we were just looking for this.. um.. ball, you see.. It's very important that we have it," she replied, stuttering every other word. Yamcha and Oolong, who were peering into the door and listening to the whole exchange, snorted in unison.

"Why?" the little voice asked again. A small flame appeared, lighting a few nearby candles. A small, blonde haired girl of about six or seven stepped into the light, holding her little puffy dress around her knees.

"To save the world!" Goku cut in, smiling at the child.

"But.. the Seven Star Ball is my mama's," the girl insisted, a small tear forming in her eye.

"Don't worry.. We can bring it back to you in one year!" Bulma assured her, patting the small girl. "What's your name?"

"Isa," she replied, sniffling a bit. "Papa will be upset with me." 

Bulma glanced again at the small shrine erected around the dragonball. A small photo sat in the back, picturing a pretty dirty-blonde haired woman with bright green eyes. Her daughter was a mirror image of her.

"Well, tell your papa that you helped save the world. We'll bring the ball back to you in one year! I promise," Bulma said assuredly, smiling at Isa. Goku nodded in agreement.

"I guess so..." she said uneasily, watching sadly as Goku snatched the ball from the shrine and hurried out the door. Bulma followed suit, closing the entrance and leaving Isa watching them with candlelight flickering on her soft, white face.

"We're not even going to remember where she lives," Goku reasoned. "How are we going to give it back to her, when it's so hard to find in the first place?"

"I'm not intending to, but it was the only way to get it," Bulma replied.

Goku watched her with his mouth open. "You're not going to keep your promise?!" Bulma raised an eyebrow in scrutiny.

"It's not like we're ever going to see her again. Why should I?"


	2. I’m a handsome devil, baby!

THE SEVENTH DRAGONBALL

II. I'm a handsome devil, baby!

The world is under attack.

I never thought I would see this day... I wonder if those kids ever did really save the world. I wish they were around now, coming to my door, asking me for the Seven Starred Ball. I've spent my life looking for it, and now it's back. But no longer does it still hold its meaning. Papa is gone too, now. Some big pink creature destroyed the building he was working in. He's probably coming here right now. Those three convicts, the ones that little green guy wants.... One of them is familiar. The little black haired boy. The other two are a complete mystery. 

It's been such a long time. Fifteen years? More? Less? Maybe it was just the dream of a little seven year old looking for adventure. I wish I could have gone with them.. They probably battled evil monsters and did heroic things, all without me.

That pink thing.. Majin Buu is his name? He's coming here. Right now. I wonder if this is my chance for adventure. My chance to be the bystander who becomes part of the crowd, destroyed by the villain as he goes on some kind of destructive rampage.

Just an extra in the film of terror.

No point sitting around the apartment. The Seven Star Ball was gone, disappeared while I slept. I didn't ask questions, just moved on... The two shrines are empty. All the photos tacked onto them are in a box somewhere in storage. 

I trotted quickly down the two flights of stairs in my apartment complex, getting onto the crowded street. Every communication around me carried the name "Majin Buu." Majin Buu this, Majin Buu that... What a celebrity. I want to be a villain... Get some recognition.

And this is when the screaming started.

An immense gust of wind blew past, knocking people into buildings, hurling rocks in every direction. I jammed one foot into the sewer drain, the blast taking me down to the cement. The sky was bland as I stared up, back uncomfortably flat against the pebbly cement sidewalk I lay upon.

Landing not too far away, just outside a ring of debris and awed bystanders, landed Majin Buu. I had seen him on television, I had seen him in my mind. Now he was here.

He looks like an overgrown child. Why is everyone so afraid? He obviously likes candy. Maybe we should just forfeit a chocolate factory to him or something.

A small can clinked across the ground, signaling the start to who knows what. Majin Buu began to hop, doing a funky looking skip-jog that evolved eventually into a full blown run. He zoomed away, leaving a huge cloud of dust behind him.

Buildings began to explode in his wake, becoming engulfed in smoky flames and sending debris in every direction. He turned around, charging back towards the group of fleeing people.

I slowly pried myself from the sewer drain, propping myself against a broken brick wall. Majin Buu stopped not too far away from me, blasting randomly escaping citizens. 

He turned, staring at me. Directly at me. His eyes were evil-looking slits, his mouth was wide in a toothless grin. A banana-like appendage hung from his head, and he looked like an obscenely bizarre boy scout.

I probably should have been scared. Maybe this big, Pepto-Bismol colored creature was supposed to intimidate me.

But he didn't. He was just a big blob dressed like a boy scout. He grinned, half assuming I was scared to death.

"Do you think Buu's sexy?" he asked suddenly. I furrowed my brow.

I have two hypotheses for my reaction: I was either in a state of shock by my current position, or I was just plain insane.

"Not really. You need an exercise plan," I replied. Majin Buu's eyes widened, becoming real eyes for once.

"What? Exercise? You say Buu not sexy?!" the creature demanded. I nodded.

"Yup. You can lose weight when you exercise, then you might be sexy. You have a cute face," I assured him.

Haha. I'm plain out of my mind.

Majin Buu watched me for a moment as if dumbfounded. I guess he was. "...How do I get this, exercise?"

"Get a personal trainer or something. They help you lose weight and eat healthier. I don't think eating all that candy is helping your level of sexiness," I replied, my calm rapidly abandoning me. Majin Buu merely stared at me.

"Oh." 

At least he didn't turn me into a piece of candy.

A small magazine lying next to me began to flip rapidly, landing on a picture of Berd McGiantabs. Majin Buu looked at it for a second.

"What? How am I supposed to live up to image in magazines?" he asked in irritation. I winced. He suddenly began playing with his face, turning into a mirror image of the man in the magazine, beside the fact his skin was bunny pink.

"Kiss me!" Majin Buu demanded, stretching his lips toward me.

"No." The Berd-gone-wrong watched me in disbelief. "Lose weight. Your face is fine the way it is," I told him, crossing my arms. 

"You no lie to Buu?" he asked, apparently looking for some kind of assurance. Who would have guessed, the insanely strong terrorist of the Earth being self-conscious about his looks.

"Nope." Majin Buu stared at me again, then jumped into the air and flew away.

Now, how often does THAT happen in your life?


	3. The Bomb Shelter

III. The Bomb Shelter

After Majin Buu disappeared, I really had no idea what was going on. If anything, that big, insecure blob of silly putty was probably off destroying other cities and asking fashion advice. Who knows. I slinked home to my (amazingly) untouched apartment complex, climbed the stairs, and fought with the key until I finally shoved the door open.

All power was cut off. Completely. All plants within a fifty mile radius were destroyed, so it wasn't like the cable company was going to come by and fix everything in a few measly hours, where people would mill around with candles and go to bed early. Not this time.

I opened the closet, fumbling around for my stash of flashlights. After my childhood experience, I always made sure I was prepared for the unknown.. I never would have guessed it would come in handy. 

I flicked on a small, handheld flashlight. I decided I would get something to eat then go to bed so I didn't waste my power supply. Who knew how long it would be before we had electricity again.

It was like some old superhero cartoon. His matching supervillain would attack some major city, destroy a few buildings, cause a few billion zenni worth of damage, and somehow no one would care when the hero finally destroyed his arch-nemesis. 

I rubbed my sore head, still contemplating what I had done. A creature who could, and probably will, destroy the world and everyone on it, had spoken to me. Tried to impress me. Like the little fat kid who always got picked on at school.

I decided not to dwell on it and instead made my way down the hall and into my bedroom, slamming the door gracefully behind me. Most of the city was in ruins, maybe a few hundred were dead, and all I wanted was a hot bath and some nice, soft blankets.

The next day, I scrounged an old television out of storage, using a few scattered adapters to access a broadcasting station a few cities over.

What always amazes me is how the entire world can change in a less than twenty-four hours. I sat on my old, corduroy couch, playing with a plastic bag to keep my hands busy while my I kept my eyes glued to the television set. It was one of those portable kinds that dads bring to their kid's ball games or plays so they can watch football without getting in trouble with their wives. The screen was black and white, the picture flicking up and down like a broken film reel. 

"There goes Sarah, our last reporter! What courage! What _footage!_ Something has happened to Majin Buu! He has become two evil entities, but-" Whatever pathetic amount of sound was left cut out on me right at that moment. Letting out an exasperated sigh, I kicked the television one more time before it shut off. 

It wasn't long before I began hearing screaming. Suddenly, a bright light streamed in through the small cracks my closed curtains allowed. I stood up, inching slowly across the room towards the window, pulling the draperies wide.

Huge, golden comets streamed from the air, striking people in every direction. The cries of people dying could be heard all around me; my neighbors, the active couple upstairs, even the old woman who breeds cats in her closet.

The first thought that entered my mind was: Bomb! Being the safety and preparedness nut I am, I had practiced the fire route and bomb route at least five times since I had moved into my apartment. I stumbled over my furniture, throwing the door open and leaping out into the hall.

Just then, my nice old corduroy couch burst into flames as a comet went sailing through the building. I vaulted over the stairwell protector, skidding on my rear down the stairs. Following a similar procedure down the next flight, I careened around a corner and into the lobby.

Just as I flew past the reception desk, the rotating door exploded. Glass shards went flying in every direction, a few large ones embedding themselves in my leg and side. 

Blood pumping in my ears, I stumbled out the back door, searching the dead, weed-ridden yard of the apartment complex. The scent of blood dripping from my body sent my mind reeling in confusion. Pulling at the painful projectiles on the left side of my body, I plowed through the prickly pears towards the small, metal cellar-type entrance against the building. 

I grabbed the rusted handles, tugging with all my might, until I sank to my knees. In frustration, I beat my white, clenched fist against the rickety old wood and screamed right along with everyone being killed in sthe streets. 

Spouts of yellow went in every direction, all seeming to have appeared from the sky, like inflamed meteorites. I grabbed the handles once more, leaning back and wrenching on them with all my trembling body weight. 

Finally, I pried the doors open. A sudden detonation behind me sent me flying into the shelter, the only way out jarring closed above me.

The sudden wave sent me hurtling to the ground, where I felt my head slam against the concrete bottom and everything around me go pitch black.


	4. Old Betty

IV. Old Betty

I awoke to pitch blackness.

Slowly, all previous events came back to me; escaping from the apartment building, then hiding in the bomb shelter. 

I slowly stood up, my arm searching in the air for something to balance on. I tripped over some large, square lump on the floor, my elbow slamming painfully into the cement wall. I squeezed my eyes in pain, taking a few steps back so I could stand up straight.

I walked a little more carefully this time, scouting along a wooden shelf I had discovered for some type of flashlight. All my mind focused on was getting out of there, the stuffy, musty air filling my nose and causing my throat to clench painfully. After some time of passing what must have been a dozen cans of non-perishable foods, my fingers clenched around the plastic handle of a large, nine volt battery flashlight.

Click!

The shelter lit up as the beam from my flashlight played across the walls, revealing more and more of the ancient retreat. Everything was silent except for my heavy breathing, which I could hear reverberating in my ears as I walked around the concrete enclosure. The walls were adorned with tall, wood and metal shelves, which held a few old flashlights and moldy cans of supposed non-perishables. 

__

Maybe the world's destroyed, and I'm just soaring through empty space towards the sun and complete oblivion, I thought. Shrugging, I climbed up the wooden ladder towards the double cellar doors. I'd rather die in the cold pits of space then burned alive. 

Throwing the doors open, my eyes were assaulted with the bright light of the afternoon sun. Crawling out onto the ground, everything seemed to be the same way it had been before I went into hiding. 

Looking up, I saw the top half of my apartment complex missing. I blinked for a moment, when the only thing occurring to me was: at least _my _apartment's still intact.

Walking towards the old, rickety fence surrounding the yard, I peered over it. The streets were no longer visible; the debris from collapsed buildings covered everything, most small stores and shops buried under immense blocks of cement and metal. There was complete silence, except for the dead whistle of a cool breeze.

Struggling to pull myself up onto the fence, I toppled over it and landed on my back on the other side. Dusting my now gray shirt off, I brushed a hand through my frizzy, knotted blonde hair and began to walk. Having no idea where I was going, I stepped over large blocks of brick wall and ripped support beams. I felt my pants catch on a jagged edge, ripping a hole up to my shin. I had no reason, no place to go, nothing to look forward to. Hills of destroyed buildings stretching off in every direction, I had no choice except to walk.

As I trekked, I saw an immense blast of blue light shoot up into the sky and disappear in a bright flash. The ground below me began to rumble, knocking a few large chunks of concrete loose near the still-standing radio tower. I climbed over a large particle board wall, watching debris tumble haphazardly through the city.

This happened numerous times as I walked, until I became so tired that I cut myself just about every other step I took. This went on, until my dull thoughts were interrupted by a low humming.

Some feet in front of me, a red scrap of metal buried beneath the rubble was vibrating on regular intervals. Intrigued, I moved the wreckage as best I could, revealing the roof of a small, red truck. 

And it was still running.

Pulling away most of the blockading chunks of cement, I pried open the truck's sunroof and dropped inside. There was nobody inside, luckily, but the keys were still in the ignition. It still had half a tank of gas, and despite the ripped and worn away plastic seats, I made myself comfortable. 

Glancing through the windshield, I saw a mildly clear path between two large walls of debris. I turned the key in the ignition roughly, applying the gas as hard as I could.

The truck took off, getting at least a foot of air as it hit a flattened desk lying in our path. I rolled down my window, grabbing the door with my hand for support as it bounced against the vehicle. The end of our straightaway came into view much too quickly, causing me to slam on the brakes.

Disobeying my commands, the truck flew up an almost vertical ascent, tripping and bumping along a path of jagged edges and hunks of plywood and furniture. Reaching the top, I quickly swerved the vehicle around a jutting desk lamp. The tires hit a door, which aimed up like a ramp and sent us flying into the air.

It wasn't much longer of this four-wheeling until we reached the edge of town. The entire time, I had not seen one other live person. With my spirits destroyed, the truck - Old Betty - and I ambled off a mountain of concrete and onto a little dirt road leading away from the death site.


	5. Earthquake

V. Earthquake

We bumped and hummed along the road, Ol' Betty and I. I cranked the windows down, playing with the radio dial. What might have once been green fields flew past, now just vast expanses of charred land and deadly black corn stalks could be seen for miles. A few lone trees had escaped, but the landscape seemed to be dominated by desert-like open spaces and upturned rocks. 

I turned the radio dial, encountering nothing but static. I finally switched to AM, where I skimmed the channels with one arm on the wheel and the other pounding on the inefficient radio angrily. As I was nearing AM 1500, I heard a sudden flicker of sound.

It was country. Worse than burning in the fires of HFIL, the only station in operation was playing horrific, mindless country music.

A guitar strummed continually to one chord, accompanied some fake-accented cowboy singing lovesick lyrics. 

And I cursed the inventor of country.

I drove for what must have been hours, a continual stream of country music filling my ears as Old Betty and I ambled down the little off-road. The landscape began to change, what might have once been beautiful, green pastures transforming into a land of upturned rocks and jagged cliffs. The road wound around bends and over hills, becoming broken and bumpy. 

Suddenly, another immense blast of blue filled my vision. Swerving, Betty and I skidded off the road and lodged a tire into a rock. 

But my attention was drawn by the immense explosion in the sky. A small, black dot hovered, the huge ball of blue light somehow harbored high in the sky.

"Come on, Betty!" I cried, putting my foot to the metal to get the old truck going again. It shuddered, trying to force its way out from the rock it was caught on, but to no avail. I sighed, leaning against the wheel and pressing the gas with one foot at random intervals.

Slowly, and of course, without my knowledge, good Old Betty began to crawl up the small embankment and back onto the road. Before I knew what was happening, we were cruising at full speed down the other side of the hill. A drum-accompanied song came onto the radio, and I stuck my arm out into the air as we soared down the road towards the large explosion that now racked the earth.

It's amazing how people - when confronted with that they cannot comprehend - forget all about it and go on living. It's almost like subconsciously we know we're doomed, and make the most of what we have left. And so, comforted by this hypothesis, I jammed on my invisible guitar as Betty and I headed towards what was most likely some kind of impending death.

This creature, Majin Buu... A large, pink blob had decimated most of the Earth, when he seemed like nothing compared to every other threat to our planet. Like that time when I was, oh, just turned 20. Two creatures had landed on Earth, completely eradicated our army, then disappeared the next day. Or that Cell guy. He just played with us, allowed us to think our special forces could defeat him. If Mr. Satan hadn't been there...

Haha, Mr. Satan. What a joke. He may have been the strongest man on Earth, but any victory he achieved was quickly surpassed by his ego. I hope he suffers some huge, really terrible defeat. Maybe dying will do the trick.

And I said.. Oh well.

We continued on for some time, the ground being rocked by huge explosions on irregular intervals and huge blasts of light searing the sky. We got closer and closer, my now beloved, cherished music beginning to fade from accessibility. Damnit.

I rounded over the top of a hill, when suddenly, the road ended. Barring my way was an enormous, black, charred hole in the rock. From there on, the road didn't even exist. 

Sighing, I turned off the engine, got out of the truck, and began to walk. 

It wasn't long before I began hearing voices. They hollered and cried, a huge blast suddenly shaking the earth and knocking me off my feet. A huge beam of yellow light zoomed right over my head, blowing up a mountain of crumbled rocks. I just hoped Betty was okay.

I continued on my trek, my way blocked numerous times by enormous ravines violently torn in the rock. Whatever was happening was now blood-chillingly close, a shiver running up my side whenever a blast shot clouds of debris into the air above me.

I dashed, hiding swiftly behind an outcropping of rock hanging off a large hill. I peeked around, slowly tip-toeing towards a good viewpoint.

Flying in the sky and fighting like little blurs were two figures. One, I didn't recognize, but wore a dorky orange outfit. The other was tall, pink, muscular, and wore a familiar pair of baggy white pants.

Oh. My. Kami.

Majin Buu.


	6. Majin Buu New and Improved

VI. Majin Buu - New and Improved

I watched in fascination as this new, transformed Majin Buu traded blows with the tall, black-haired man. They were going at light speed, but their faces seemed almost relaxed.

Suddenly, they both disappeared in flashes of light. Confused, I tried to find them, but all I saw were small explosions in the air, darting all over the place. A nearby pile of rocks suddenly detonated, sending huge chunks of debris in every direction. The thinner, buffer Majin Buu hovered in the air, arms crossed arrogantly, as the orange-suited man struggled to climb out from the pile of rock. 

__

...How could ANYONE survive that?! I stared in shock as the man climbed out, rising back into the air. That was about the time I came to the conclusion that he wasn't human.

This was further verified when he fired a huge blast of white light at the pink creature before him. At the last moment, Majin Buu raised his arms, the beam exploding on impact.

When the smoke cleared, neither combatant was worse off, but the apparent stalemate accredited to their aggravation. 

Suddenly, I felt a light tug on my pantleg. Mid-scream, a hand clamped over my mouth and muffled me. Scratching at the fingers clutching my face, I glanced to the source of the hand, and found a small, green face, complete with pointy ears and little antennae.

__

Haha, I chuckled to myself, _I'm being held captive by a giant grasshopper. _And I fainted.

I woke up to being all alone again. I sat up, rubbing my sore head and glancing around for any familiar signs.

The landscape had completely changed. We seemed to be somewhere near an ocean, if the vast expanse of rippling blue waves off to my left was any indication. 

Getting to my feet, I dusted off my bum and smoothed down my wild, long blonde hair. I could see no one in sight, and all I really worried about was if my little truck had been injured in the shower of rocks created by the fighters.

I began walking once more, away from the water. Cliffs made me nervous. I looked around for that strange green creature, but to no avail. 

Climbing over a ridge, I watched the sky with wide eyes. As vast and blue as the ocean, it was completely cloudless and bright. Some parts of it would suddenly light up, as if fireworks were going off. 

I trotted along the ridge for sometime, following the explosions in the sky with tired feet. I had no idea when it was or where I was; I could have been knocked out for days. It wasn't long before I dropped to a little outcropping of rock in defeat.

"Who are you? What are you doing here?" a voice asked me from behind. Getting up slowly and tiredly, I turned around to face a short, green man with a familiar face and a tall, black afro-haired fighter. Without so much as a double-take, I groaned.

"I'm Isa, and I have no idea. Care to tell me?" I replied, sighing in exasperation. The little green guy blinked, then smiled at me.

"Here, I can heal you," he informed me brightly. I shrugged, sitting back down. The creature put both his hands on me, and suddenly I felt new life returned to my body and sore limbs. The world around me seemed to brighten, and I looked up at the green-faced boy and smiled.

"If I may ask, who are YOU?"

"I'm Dende," he replied. I shrugged. For some reason, I wasn't surprised at all by a small, green man with magical healing powers named after God. Whatever.

Glancing back up, I took a second look at the tall man standing next to Dende. I instantly recognized him, though his appearance was completely different than I was used to. The Champion, Mr. Satan, was disheveled and thin-looking. His eyes were filled with fear, and he held closely onto a small, white dog.

"Mr. Satan? I.. I thought everyone was dead," I managed out, leaning against a rock. He nodded and looked at the ground.

"Mr. Buu killed everybody," he said simply. 

"...Oh." There was an uncomfortable silence for a moment.

"What exactly is going on, if I may be so bold to ask? What happened to Majin Buu? Last time I saw him, he was big and fat. Now...?" I inquired to Dende. He glanced at me, at Mr. Satan, then back.

"He split into two Buus... Himself and an Evil Buu. Evil Buu turned the regular Majin Buu into a piece of candy and ate him. Now he's much stronger, and our only hope might be losing," the green man replied, staring at his feet as if they suddenly became more interesting. I merely nodded.

I turned to Dende, raising my eyebrows. "Who's that guy fighting him? The one in the suit? I can't believe what they're doing.. it's like rapidfire nuclear explosions!" 

"That's Goku," he replied. Mr. Satan snorted and crossed his arms.

__

Goku...?


	7. Just Some Filler

VII. Just Some Filler

I stared for a moment, taking a closer look at the two combatants. Majin Buu looked much different; he wore a black vest with a thick, yellow lining and his old baggy white pants. He chuckled nastily and slammed a fist into the other fighter's face.

__

Goku... I thought, running the name over in my mind. It was so familiar, but far away. His face looked slightly deja vu; his black hair stuck out in all directions and his eyes focused as he received another blow from his devious opposition.

"If I may be so bold to ask," Dende began, glancing at me over his shoulder, "what are you doing here? We pretty much assumed everyone was dead." 

"I hid in a bomb shelter," I replied simply. Mr. Satan watched me from the corner of his eye, but turned his attention back to the fight as soon as I noticed him.

Standing not too far away, I noticed another onlooker. He resembled Goku, but stood a bit shorter and had cropped, spiky hair that stood straight up. He wore a similar outfit, and was watching in surprise as Goku chucked something at him.

"Gohan! Catch!" he cried. The man I had now perceived to be Gohan jumped back. "Aaaahh!"

"He dropped it!" Dende whispered. Gohan looked down, picking through the rocks as Majin Buu began to laugh.

"Going to try your fusion now, are we?" he asked mockingly. Goku merely glared at him.

Suddenly, the orange-suited fighter lit up with a yellow glow, his hair shooting out and becoming a bright blonde. 

I blinked.

"What the HECK is going ON?" I cried, widening my eyes as Goku began to move more swiftly. Gohan was still picking through the rocks for whatever the other fighter had thrown to him.

"Gohan! Find that earring!" Goku repeated.

Gohan tossed another rock, glancing at the floating, golden-haired man in desperation. "Dad, I'm trying!"

Suddenly, Majin Buu turned, slamming one leg into Goku's head and aiming his free hand towards Gohan. He fired a blast of light, destroying the rocks and sending a small object skittering another ten feet away. 

Goku, meanwhile, hovered behind Majin Buu and bore down on him with discharges of short, blue streaks that seemed to have a decently profound effect on the pink creature. 

I continued watching the two fight, though saying I could actually see it is another claim altogether. I caught a few bursts of yellow light and the occasional battle cry, but that was the maximum of my ability. 

Suddenly, both fighters came to a halt. Majin Buu floated in the air, crying obscenities and holding his head. Goku watched, one hairless eyebrow raised. _Man, he sure is ugly,_ I thought, sticking my tongue out. I reached over, poking Dende on the shoulder.

"Hey, what's going on?" I asked. He merely shrugged and turned back to intently watching the creature writhe in the air above us. 

Suddenly, his outfit changed from a dorky-looking vest to a large, white, fluffy cape. I raised an eyebrow.

Goku didn't seem in the least bit surprised. "Ah! Gotenks! The boys' fusion must have worn off inside Buu's body!" He paused for a moment. "You've become more like Piccolo. You tried to play against time, and lost." He sounded so heroic, yet... so corny.

I raised an eyebrow, when Gohan's voice caught my attention. "Dad! I found it! Do I put it on my right ear?"

Goku chuckled confidently. "No. Majin Buu's lost over a third of his power. We won't be needing a fusion anymore." 

"Haha. I hope you have an insurance policy to back that up," the Pink Wonder replied, snickering. There was something in his voice I recognized instantly.

Slithering and sliding behind Gohan was a large blob, resembling the missing part of Majin Buu's head. It creeped and crawled over the rocks, descending on the man unawares.

"Didn't you see a piece of me missing?" Buu pointed out, wiggling the banana-shaped appendage on his head. Goku stared wide-eyed. I couldn't decide if he was shocked that the conniving Majin Buu had deceived him, or that he hadn't noticed. Neither would have surprised me.

And all at once, the small blob became a large blob. It rose into the air like a tidal wave, circling the now very much alarmed Gohan. 

"Gohan!" Goku cried, flying towards his son, who had almost instantly become enveloped by the remainder of Majin Buu's mass. The blob contracted, sending itself hurtling into the main body's mass. 

Majin Buu laughed evilly as his clothing began to change, his body forming an outfit similar to that of the man he had just absorbed into himself. Goku went into some sort of foolish denial as the Pink Wonder boasted about his newfound power.

This is when things get dirty. I may not care sometimes about other's misfortunes, and I may not be the all-caring charitable good Samaritan, but that urks me. When some big, powerful crud like Buu boots the underdog.

And me, being the foolish, senseless girl I am, pushed Dende and Mr. Satan out of my way and stumbled onto the battlefield.


	8. Am I Hot or Not?

VIII. Am I Hot or Not?

"HEY! MISTER!" I cried, waving my arms erratically. Majin Buu stopped his maniacal laughter abruptly, watching me with wide eyes. "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!" I demanded, shaking my fist at him.

I expected him to burst out laughing any moment. Everyone was staring at me. Whether in disbelief at my stupidity or bravery, I had no way of knowing. But silence fell as all eyes centered on me. Well, at least I'd gotten his attention.

"Who... are you?" he asked, almost quietly. 

"I AM ISA! YOU DESTROYED MY CITY! Not like I care, BUT THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT!" Majin Buu continued to gawk at me. "WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO THAT NICE MAN?!" I hollered again, jumping up and down and shaking my fist at him.

I couldn't tell if he was boiling with rage or just merely shocked when he descended to the ground. But me, being me, continued on my mad rant.

"At least you were nicer when you were fat!" I cried, crossing my arms. "Now that you've _stolen_ such good looks, you become a total meanie! I liked you better the old way!" I continued. Still, nothing.

"I didn't exercise," Majin Buu said at length, still staring at me with his wide, black eyes. I could hear Mr. Satan and Dende begin to whisper loudly behind me. 

Clearing my throat, I stared right back at the beast before me. _I might as well get all my ranting over with before he kills me,_ I thought. It wasn't a sad thought, just a factual one. I had never feared death; and even faced with it now, I am still not afraid.

"You don't scare me," I announced loudly, marching up to him. "You would have looked a lot better if you had just stayed yourself!"

Majin Buu looked flustered for a moment. "...Really?" he asked, stuttering like an insecure child.

"Sure thing. Too bad, isn't it?" I shrugged, waving my arm at him. "None of these people you've absorbed seem very good-looking either. I think the old you was much more handsome," I said. Maybe if I could keep playing my aces, he would run out before I did. Unsure of whether I had the advantage or not, I continued.

"I mean, if you could just stop killing people, you might get a girlfriend or something. Maybe a kiss," I said, tapping my chin thoughtfully.

"You didn't give me a kiss," Majin Buu retorted, crossing his arms back at me. 

"Because you killed people," I replied simply. "Why do you kill people? Destroy planets? Do you want to be the overlord of the universe, even when there's nobody left alive to rule?" I knew my interrogation would only get me so far with a brain like his. Maybe whoever else he had absorbed had credited a little to his brain size.

Every pair of eyes present was strained on me, each one with a different emotion. I stared at Majin Buu, one eyebrow raised, both hands on my hips. "What's the point?" I asked.

"I am the most powerful being in the universe!" the large, pink creature yelled, flexing his muscles and ruffling his orange shirt. I crossed my arms and looked away, unsatisfied.

"So? Who cares?" I replied boldly. I could almost hear Goku's jaw dropping.

"I want to kill this noisy fool!" Majin Buu tried again, roaring loudly. I shrugged.

"If someone attacked you, wouldn't you fight back? You can't blame him, really," I reasoned, taking a step closer to the no longer airborne Buu. He watched me intently. "You killed everyone in my city, but I don't really care because I didn't know any of them anyway." No response.

"Do you have a family, Majin Buu?" I asked. He stared at me, then shook his head.

"No. I had a master, but he was annoying so I killed him," Buu replied, shrugging.

"Imagine having somebody who really cares about you, whether you live or die, will help you in any situation. Family members do that. Imagine how many people lost others in their family, or died," I said. "Do you know what it's like to die?" Majin Buu watched me for a moment, then shook his head. I could hear the gears working in his head. That was a good sign.

"I don't have a "family," so it doesn't matter. Now stop bothering me and let me kill him," Buu said at last, shrugging me off and crossing his arms.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

"You know, you are sexy now," I said quietly. I hop-skipped over to him, jumped on my tip-toes, and kissed Majin Buu smack on the cheek.


	9. The Fight for Gas

IX. The Fight for Gas

I'm pretty sure my mind bought it's tickets, packed it's bags, and left this universe.

Leaving Majin Buu stunned, I took the opportunity to run as fast as I could. Away. Far away.

I ran until my muscles were on fire, my lungs were completely stripped, and my throat was clenched like the thread of a needle. At that point, I slowed to a walk, having absolutely no idea where I was going.

Maybe it was mere chance, or some kind of divine guidance, but I stumbled across Ol' Betty. I didn't know why Majin Buu didn't follow me to kill me, or follow me to rape me, or some other equally horrible thing. I pulled open the door to my little red truck, climbed in, twisted the key in the ignition, and drove away.

And still, I saw no one.

I must have driven for hours, carefully avoiding the city I had escaped from. The roads were littered with broken down cars with impaled roofs and doors. For fear of what I would find, I didn't look inside any of them. My stomach wasn't very good at handling death.

I followed the coastline in the direction I assumed to be northward, until I came to a small town. It seemed to be unharmed for the most part, so I turned off at the exit and drove down the main thoroughfare, very much aware of Betty's low gas tank. 

Deserted shops lined the road, but so far, I had not seen a dead body. We putted along for a few minutes before I spotted a gas station. The overhang to the pumps was broken, but had luckily fallen some ways off. The neon sign on the front was flickering, 

Pulling in, I saw a few cars blocking the way. Climbing out of the car, I began to shove with all my might.

Of course, they didn't budge.

I examined Betty's gas meter again. We were getting dangerously close to running on fumes. I wasn't about to go out there all by myself... 

And that's when a nearby explosion sent me hurtling into the hood of my truck. Gripping the fender, I straightened my legs and stood up, looking around for the source of the disruption. I ran towards the gas station's food mart, peeking around the corner. 

Across the street, a small shop was enveloped in billowing smoke. Broken glass lay scattered all across the pavement, and I could hear loud grunts from the little store. 

I could hear my heart beating in my ears as I crept across the street, stepping over pieces of glass shards. I could feel a few lodging themselves into the flesh of my feet. I pressed myself against the wall next to the broken window, peering inside through the smoke. I held my nose to stop from coughing, and I waved my hand in front of me for some visibility.

After waiting for what seemed like eternity, the smoke finally cleared. I instantly saw a familiar pink body, still wearing an orange shirt and baggy white pants. He was ripping the glass cover off of a display case, shoving obviously fake or moldy cakes and pastries into his mouth. 

I stopped myself from choking, instantly gaining Majin Buu's attention.

"You again?" he questioned irritably, a large piece of white cake hanging from his lip. I bit my tongue, pressing myself against the wall. This time, it wasn't a fear of death. It was a fear of slow, painful death.

"What are you doing here?" Majin Buu interrogated, glaring at me. I bit my lip, twiddling my thumbs.

"I asked you a question!" he insisted, getting a little close for comfort. I squeezed my eyes closed, but that crumb... still.. there.. hanging from his..

"THERE'S A CRUMB ON YOUR LIP!" I cried, unable to hold it in any longer. Majin Buu blinked at me, then raised a finger to his mouth and wiped away the cake.

I took a deep breath, earning a bizarre look from the Pink Wonder. I glared back, shaking my fist.

"And just what do you intend to do?" he asked, crossing his arms indignantly. I stomped my foot.

"You know what? While you're standing here all smug, the entire world is destroyed, my car is out of gas, and I'm hungry!" I scolded, kicking at the broken glass window. A piece went skittering across the cement, and cut a large gash in my shoe.

"There is cake in here," Buu replied, shrugging.

I'm pretty sure he heard my jaw clunk against the floor, but I don't think he cared. He motioned towards the shop, and I followed.

Majin Buu led me behind the counter, rifling through some cupboards until he came across a box with a small yellow sticky note on it. It read, "PIERON B-DAY PARTY" and contained many very delicious looking chocolate cupcakes.

As he was just about to hand them to me, Majin Buu took on a more thoughtful look.

"Oh.. Please?" I begged, reaching for the cupcakes. He shook his head and tapped his chin.

"I'll give you these cupcakes.. if.. if you give me another kiss," he bargained, holding the cupcakes above my head. I moaned, reaching once more.

"...Fine..." I muttered.


	10. A Beautiful Distraction

X. A Beautiful Distraction

I stood on my tiptoes, working to reach Majin Buu's cheek, even when he bent his knees. I squeezed my eyes shut and pursed my lips and pecked him ever so lightly.

While the Pink Wonder was in the process of rubbing his cheek, I grabbed the box of cupcakes and fled.

Of course, I didn't get far. 

With one sweet, chocolaty cupcake shoved in my mouth, the rest of the box in my hand, I was lifted up by my shirt collar and brought to eye level with Majin Buu. I shivered at the glare of his black eyes. 

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked evilly. I grimaced right back at him.

"To put gas into my car, get in my car, and drive far, far away," I replied with brutal honesty. Majin Buu blinked at me, then set me back down.

"Fine," he said, grabbing the cupcakes from me.

I whined, grabbing the box back from him. "Hey!"

AND IT ENDED THERE! Sorry people. Just wanted to post this because it was so funny... and so old! ^_^ Old stuff is good, though.


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